


All I Want To Do

by WellDoneBeca



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Gen, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 13:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14770850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WellDoneBeca/pseuds/WellDoneBeca
Summary: “I’m not gonna wait until you’re done pretending you don’t need anyone”





	All I Want To Do

Steve watched you from afar as you walked to your room. You were beautiful, standing among people looking like a real angel that’d fallen from heaven. He was always mesmerised by the way you looked and walked and even spoke, but maybe it was just him. There was something about you that always attracted him and would never go away.

You had a thing, the two of you. He couldn’t name it, you never let him, and it was as inconsistent as you, but it was still something. Some days, you would kiss and behave like a couple around one another. You held his hand, curled against his chest and looked at him like he was precious and everything you needed; other days, though, you withdrew completely, not talking to him, just to come back days later. Today was, in fact, one of those days. You didn’t seem to know what you wanted and he knew he should leave, but he couldn’t. There was something you had – a sadness, a fear – that wouldn’t let him.

He walked to your room just mere minutes after you closed your door and knocked on it, opening it slowly when you allowed.

“We need to talk,” he affirmed, and you moved your eyes away from him.

* * *

 

There it was again. The pain, the sadness. You were hiding things from him, and he couldn’t understand why. You were friends for years before you even grew whatever you had. He thought you trusted him but, apparently, he was wrong.

He was tired, getting exhausted, honestly. This was going on for months, and he didn’t know how much more he could take before this whole relationship became unbearable.

Steve closed the door behind himself, not moving.

What did he want to say?

“I don’t think we can keep doing this,” he finally let out. “This thing we have… I don’t know if I can take more of it.”

You didn’t look at him, staring at the floor while sat on your bed.

“I’m not… I...” he struggled to find words. “I don’t even know what we have,” he managed to let out.

“Steve, please,” you whispered. “Don’t do this.”

His face changed at the words, and he frowned.

“Do what? Confront you?” he put his hands on his hips. “Y/N...”

Your eyes were closed and he knew that you would cover your ears like a child if you could. It was the third time he tried to talk to you about that and, honestly, he was considering it to be the last, it didn’t matter how it ended. You always acted like you were alone. You never let anyone save you, never let yourself depend on anyone else, not even in here. You were always trying to keep  _yourself_ to yourself.

“I’m not gonna wait until you’re done pretending you don’t need anyone,” he affirmed. “I’m not gonna try until you decide you’re ready to swallow your pride.”

You shook your head.

“I can’t,” you hissed. “Steve,  _please_.”

“Look at me,” he requested. “Y/N, please, look at me.”

Slowly, you raised your head. You were crying, he finally realised.

“I can’t keep giving if you’re not fully into this,” he said in a much softer voice. “Half of you ain’t enough for me.”

“I can’t,” you repeated. “You don’t understand.”

Steve shook his head. He wanted to walk to you and comfort you, but he  _needed_ this confrontation, as well as you did.

“Try to explain it, then,” he insisted. “I’m here, I’m gonna listen to you.”

“Everybody leaves,” you closed your eyes shut. “Everybody leaves me, everything I love turns into sadness. I can’t let you in, Steve, cause I’m gonna need to pick myself up after you leave and I can’t do this again.”

He froze.

_Everyone leaves._

Your mother had left you when you were a kid, and your father when you were not older than 16. Family members turned you down when you needed them, and every boyfriend you had had had turned you down for someone else. Steve could be the perfect man, but that didn’t change your fears the least.

“What am I supposed to do when you get tired of me and decides that you don’t want me anymore?” you stared into his eyes.

“I’m not gonna leave you,” he affirmed.

“There’s no way you can know that,”you accused him.

“So what?” he walked to you. “You’re gonna push me away? I love you!” he affirmed. “I love you and I care for you, and I know you can’t keep on like this if you want to ever be happy, if not with me but with anyone.”

Steve kneeled in front of you, taking your hands in his and pulling you so you could be facing him, still sat on the bed.

“All I want to do is love you,” he affirmed. “ _All_ I want to do is love you.”

You didn’t take your hands away or fought him, and his hands squeezed yours.

“But you have to let me. Please.”


End file.
